the last days of a tragic allegory

These are the two worst parts about being so poor you have to selling stuff to eat:

1) No Choice:  When you’re so out of money that you have to start selling stuff to eat, you generally get no choice in what you actually eat.  Lots of pasta, lots of super cheap stuff like Totino’s Pizzas and hot dogs or whatever scraps you can pick up from other people’s charity.  That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy some of these things, but not when they are my only options.  The poorer you get, the less choices are presented to you and the more things become forced on you, and this is not only related to just food either.

2) No Future:  There are times when I look at what I want to do and it’s very hard to see any real distance into the future.  You see the immediate present, things like “what will I eat next?” “where will I get the next gallon of gas?” and then there is a huge blackness when you look out beyond those simple questions and that is no way to live.  You must always live for the future; goals, dreams, etc.

And that being said; I’m fucking tired of having no choice and no future.  This is a week to turn it around and stop living in limbo.  I’m calling in ultimatums and favors this week.